Swim Faster, Study Efficiently, Think Carefully

I wish i could swim faster,
i wish i could have a better stamina,
i wish i could have participate in all swimming competition,
because of few stuff, i throw away my dream.
but doesn't matter as i learn many things, learn to give up and learn to take and learn to stay strong.
i wish i have time to train... i wish i have time to swim with my fellow swim friends, it is fun to swim with people
William!! swim with u is such a nice feeling.. Johnson!! i miss our matches!! Jesse i miss our butterfly matches..
Everybody we miss our 30s below 50m swim!!...

i wish i could study Efficiently,
i wish i can study with all my might,
i wish i can get four flat, i wish i could get smarter, i wish i can have a faster mind.
i couldn't help but to think.. what happen if i din't get good result?
everybody is saying... result actually doesn't really mind in our future.. how i fuck that though...
result really does matter, it makes parents happy.. do u all know that parents, inside them
they really get very very disappointed when you fail to get a good result, even though they say won't mind
it is just because they wanted you to feel better and to do better.
Don't disappoint our parents. What the hell are we learning in our university life?
Learn to be tired? learn to complain? learn to Sleep? learn to skip class?
know it yourself and of course myself..

After i came cyber... i had been thinking recklessly.
i didn't really think carefully for what i want, and what i m.
Such reckless thinking making me turning into a fool that everyone is started to say
what kind of shit is this Alex.
After i came here... i had a feeling that i had lost many friends around.
Just like secondary school...
But it doesn't matter...
i told myself not to give up.
Ready to push forward and release those unnecessary though.

Being a dead heart isn't bad after all.
Doesn't need to fall in love, doesn't need to worry so much about the one we like.
give all the loves to friends who need it, cares those friends who needed care the most.
I miss my Malacca friends.
They used to cheer me up when i have tears,
They used to bring me place where i can have fun when i fall apart,
They used to teach me when i was wrong.
I miss their support, i miss their care.

Right here, right now... i even will say i really need someone to care me...
Espeacially my mum, i hardly go back because i m busy... i really felt sorry,
my mum told me, is ok because those will help me in future.
Maybe is my attitude problem, people start to get away from me...

I would like to thanks especially Eunice Aw haha... for cheering me up when i was really down.
also would like to thanks Alice for sharing me with her stories also... that make me have a big though haha...
=p.
also thanks Sk for telling me stuff likewise would change me a lot in cyber.

i wonder do people know what m i thinking? hmm i guess not haha... doesn't really matter

Night...
Gd night
Oyasuminasai
晚安

MOtivation

Unless you had though what motivates you
towards studies..
towards work...
towards something that always stress you out...

you will never fight till the end for something that needed you to do...

i had lost many hopes now a day... i know i can't give up in this very end.
i just can't... i know i had been irresponsible this few days even week even month...
i doesn't know what had happen to me. But i do know i can't give up.
It is weird, what else will make me fight for things that is going on.
sometimes i do feel sad.. but sometimes i tel myself... there is no use to be sad...
i had regain who m i.. but i doesn't regain what i m.

as a result...
what m i to this world? ... at the end i m laying on my bed again... for no reason..
haha..

Friends who lack of mood and motivation to push urself...
do think of what they are to you, and think of parents.
Think of ur future.. what will those happen to u, create you in future.